How did I even end up being so messed up with my eating and how it became my number one priority

I really have no idea how in the world i became so addicted of always thinkinh about food, diets and s.o. I was always worried that i was sort of kind of chubby. Even when i was little i was always jealous of skinny girls but i never really tried to stop eating. Now i am fucking 17 years old and still not satisfied with my bodie. I feel time ticking and i feel like if i am not going to have 100% self confidence in my physical appearance it is going to be extremely hard for me to reacha success i am dreming about (and of course meet the boy of my life ). So i am deciding to definatly get skinny. Even though i know that programm that i created to myself for 10 days is not enough it is a good and solid start sooooo lets roll guys! I can do this! I am stronger and my #1 compitition is my own mind. I do have controll of situation 

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